a lot on my plate

think of some of life's biggest changes & decisions.
now think of doing a couple of them at the same time.
now add a few more to that.
now you have my life over a several month period of time.

getting engaged.
moving. twice.
new job. with TERRIBLE schedule.
buying first house.
redoing said house.
becoming a parent.
parenting a teenager. and a teenager's busy schedule.
adjusting to life as a family of 3. plus dog.
planning a wedding.
preparing for a marriage.

and boom. i have a lot on my plate. and kinda feel like i'm not able to put my best effort towards any of it. currently my house is a mess with some partially painted walls & drop cloths permanently in our entryway. & untouched rooms with unpacked boxes, still. my wedding has a bajillion things left to do, and not nearly as much of my own personal touches added as i would like. YET. i don't see my family anywhere near as much as i would like due to aforementioned terrible schedule. (4pm-4am & every other weekend? uh, no thanks.) i'm fairly certain i'm gaining weight instead of losing it as i should before the big day, in less than 100 days. which is beyond discouraging. but i'm exhausted. and running at 4:30am after a 12 hour shift lost its charm after just a few short weeks. blah.

i think i'm just a little overwhelmed. and all we can do is laugh about it. after all, we made the decision to take this all on at once. and we are making it happen. the house may be a mess, but it will get cleaned and decorated how we want it, it just might not happen today. or tomorrow. the wedding will happen & be fantastic & i have a wonderful mom who is helping so much! and then our marriage will begin & i can't wait. mickaela is happy and loving her new school & already has so many new friends. which makes us both so happy & confident in our decision to move when we did. i like my job. well, usually.

one day i'll look back and wonder "what was i thinking?!?!" but i'm doing it & making it happen. WE are making it happen. and becoming more of a family as the weeks go by.

but still, a lot on my plate.